story of my life – #thatswhyyourmyex

So on Twitter sphere, the hash tag “#thatswhyyourmyex” was a trending topic. One of my friends posted a response to that topic, and that I responded with great enthusiasm.. why? because I have a lot of content to contribute lol.

I would like to say upfront that, I was young and I take the responsibility of going out with bad guys. I deserved what I got because I didn’t have the courage to kick their ass or get out of a bad situation. The old cat, the maryland cat, lived in a fantasy world where I thought everyone was a good person. But thanks to these life experiences I was able to sharpen my bitchness and not take shit anymore. I am happy the way I am now and continue to learn as so.. but I do once in a while look back on this and realize how damaged of a person I am or was. Many of the situations made me the way I am today, and I am grateful for these experiences.

Before going in too deep on the stories.. I’d like to share that I was too nice a person, passive, understanding, patient, could take a lot of shit. I did whatever it takes for the guy to be happy. That was wrong of me. I’m no longer that person. Now I am the slavedriver. My niceness has turned me into a bitter person and I’m fine with that! >

Usually I dont share details on why my ex’s are the way my ex’s ARE because of many reasons, because i guess I dont want to offend them, but I keep being reminded why they are ex’s in the first place. People can never change. Not for you, unless they want to…. and also, these are all for horrible comedic relief, dont feel bad for me and i dont want pity. I just want to share as entertainment

I think i might have to filter them on my facebook now, that i’m writing a tell-all. LOL MUAHHA.
People that I slightly dated in 3 months or less I do not include in this list.

Here’s my STREAK of bad relationships back to back.

Guy 1: first boyfriend. average guy. was nice to me. ended up breaking up with me on my bday i think, or close to my bday.. i got flowers, a CD and pretty much a goodbye. I cried at my locker for a week.

Guy 2: Met this guy at johns hopkins and hung out in Taiwan. He bragged about how big his dick is and lied about things I’ve performed for him in bed. What a fking loser… that was over.

Guy 3: Went out with an older guy, 3 yrs older. In the beginning it was nice. then he started playing world of warcraft. and other addicting video games. I play video games too dont get me wrong, and I am super addictive..but nothing like his level. I did the laundry, worked, did his homework, went to college, had a part time job, and let him live at my apt. He did fucking absolutely nothing. I had school back to back into the summer and I told him not to go to NY, but he went anyway. We got into an argument afterwards and he ended up kicking a hole in my dorm door, and slapped me across the face onto the floor. I ran to my room and cried. He came back 15min later and apologized. Inside I never felt the same again. I was dead. I gave the relationship another 8 months and that was it. Whatever I wanted I never got. Once he came back from hanging out with his friends on valentines day, at 11:45pm he gave me my flowers. WTF.

Guy 4: Rebounding from that guy who never bought me anything. I thought this guy had money and a job. He can’t be a loser right? He was like 260-280 lbs , 6’1. looks are below average. in the end, the guy dumped me. I flew to see him he refused to pick me up or let me stay at his place.. because i guess he doesn’t have to guts to see me in person? When I told his grandmother why I am not around anymore, I said he doesnt want me around..she cried. He scolded me that I was harassing her. He then went ahead and told her that I dumped him for someone else. Yup, lied to his own grandmother. After, I decided to go into his email (first time) to see what was going on, he was trying to mack on some girl.. yup. and he used me (sex) right before he dumped me, aka.. dropped me off at the airport and left.  Forgot to add, when he first got together with me, he paid this hotel $700 to “impress me” then his best friend told me that he was the shit in bed. sorry, he was done and over with within 10 seconds and I even said, just get off. I’m tired of it. He was smothering. After we broke up, he talked shit about me and said that the reason why I was dumped, was because I was ugly….that really killed me

Karma’s a bitch though, the girl rejected him…. Im sure he talked shit about me to her so it wouldn’t ruin his rep. anyway. the positive part of the story was i made a lot of close friends from this relationship, from his side. Not everyone’s a fatass piece of crap like him. by the way. I think they’re dating now, after 2 yrs.

It was just that the breakup was at a bad time… I’ve never gotten cheated before, so it hit me real hard. I cried for 2-3 months and Lost like 30lbs..i was nice and skinny but yeah, that hurted a lot..I had major trust issues.

Guy 5: So I’ve decided. to say “FUCK FAT DUDES” yup. I’ve experienced them and theres NO FKING way i can ever get with anyone of that size again. EVER. SO i dated this guy that was pretty fit, drove a nice car, but lived in MD. When he came up to NY, I spent like, $2k on him on the hotel stay, NY Cruise..and i got all dressed up.. i was pretty nice to this guy.. and he ended up giving me a small diamond ring (fashion ring-not engagement) as a bday present. he was the one that was convincing me for a while, and after that… his friends from md made “fun” of me saying I’m weird…and they’d laugh at me. I argued w/ him because doesnt seem like he was on my side at all.. but he gave me the “bros before hoes” thing, and said friends come first always…and became a jerk.. He pretended he didnt know I was coming down to MD to my friend, despite that he know VERY WELL. He wanted me to act like a gf to him without the title.. after my friend cussed him out, he finally fessed up and dumped me..said he’s not ready for a relationship.

At the time I felt really defeated…none of the guys Ive been with, have ever worked out.. i had pretty bad self esteem since then, actually..as always. i’ve had. That’s actually the reason why I started buying expensive and luxury beauty products..after my fat ex said I was ugly, i really didnt know what to do except just mindlessly spend money on products hoping i could fix my looks. Can you believe it? how can a 280 lb person insult me like that.. i even believed him. And since now a nice looking fit guy dumped me again, I really felt like i couldnt be loved again. I was pretty depressed.

Guy 6: I guess awhile later, i met this guy. He boasted a lot about his job, career, being hard working. He was really sweet talking. He was understanding, loving, and i was really happy. I spoiled him, bought him a lot of things, laptop, ring, electronics, i even paid for his cell phone bill. He said he was going ot travel overseas to Japan and work..and he called me all the time. I was fine with it, until after 1 yr, he started getting sick.. He had Hep B from birth, from his mother.. and he was going to die..if he didnt have a liver transplant. That really killed me, I was really worried for him. I wanted him to come home and I was patient, yet he kept me going saying just wait.. so i waited and waited…and his sister called me saying he was finished with the surgery. I flew down to Florida to see him, and he indeed had the surgery, but…

just on my way back to NY, on my flight. his sister told me the truth.. she said , “Cat, i know you are a good person but you need to know something…he’s been in florida all this time”… I couldn’t believe my ears. I just couldnt. He was in florida for the past 2 years, and despite he has heard my depressed voice, distress, and anguish on how much I wanted him to come back, he had the heart, or – no-heart to lie to my ears everyday??? During this time, I took up a jewelry making hobby on www.kaorustudio.com , i spent over 8k to start because I knew i was going to help him, even if a little bit. After I found out he deliberately hid away from me, I just couldnt and didn’t have the heart to make jewelry again. His explanation was that he “was ashamed for me to see him this way”.

The reason really wasnt enough. I was deceived for 2 years, and I had a pretty hard time getting over it.. it was really heartbreaking.

I’m still paying for his cell phone bill up to this day. I might cancel it finally this week, because I felt bad for him, despite he wronged me.

All of this was just 1.5 yrs ago.. not too long..

 

now I am with my current boyfriend that I met from work, Will… he’s the first non-asian guy I’m dating..and he has been the most honest and sincere person I’ve met. I really appreciate the level of thoughtfulness he shows me at times and always very affectionate with me. I am very lucky to finally found someone that doesn’t believe in lies…

and obviously now, if i found out he’s lying, i’ll cut off his balls THANKS!!!

 

oh yeah, and somewhere in there..the old cat from maryland died, and the new york cat was born. lol.

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   Lessons learned from #thatswhyyourmyex

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   Guess the Ex Game! Photos now included, free